Cutting edge

Closed Circuit has been struggling with temptation this week. An email link that ‘Reveals the secret to getting a new council house in as little as 30 days… guaranteed’ landed in our inbox - and we are trying to resist texting the number that will tell us all the secrets of the allocations system. Apparently, there are only 41 copies of this precious book left, written by a former housing officer called Patrick Jones.

In his enticing sales-speak, he says: ‘Now I know what your (sic) thinking “How is this possible?”. Well let me tall (sic) you this, I’ve worked as housing officer in the UK for over 15 years, I known (sic) how the council housing system really works. I know all the loopholes and all the tricks that will get you priority and housed quickly.’

We’ll be getting onto it just after we organise to give that nice Nigerian man our bank details to help him claim his inheritance.

Like everyone else, councils are looking to save money - but Brighton & Hove Council has taken the unusual step of recruiting sheep to help out. Volunteer urban shepherds have been trained to keep an eye on the sheep - on loan from local farms - which have been put to graze on land next to housing estates and schools.

The council says the cost of grass-trimming and bailing was £25,000 a year, but the urban sheep scheme costs just £1,800 annually. The scheme is being extended after a successful trial last year and is proving so popular that there is a waiting list for the urban shepherd training course.

Now, what other public services could be performed by farmyard animals?

People need to make the tough choice of saving the planet over protecting their possessions, according to Green Party spokesperson Jenny Jones. Police in London have told householders to leave their lights on to fool burglars, as part of crimefighting project, ‘operation bumblebee’. But Ms Jones is unhappy about the resulting wasteful energy and suggests getting better locks instead. The burning question, however, is why it is called operation bumblebee? Are the honey-makers good at keeping their homes secure or are they secretly fighting crime as we sleep?

Send your juicy housing gossip to closed.circuit@insidehousing.co.uk