Locked out

‘It’s not you, it’s your inability to join the property-owning classes.’

Not, perhaps, a break-up line you might expect to hear in Communist-ruled China. But in Beijing, where a two-bed flat is reported to cost 22 times the average income, a housing crisis is fast becoming a dating disaster.

According to the LA Times, more and more young women in China’s capital are dumping men for their failure to get on the housing ladder.

A post on the popular Chinese web portal Baidu reads: ‘I’m 25 years old, looking for a boyfriend… I want you to have an apartment and a car… The apartment has to be built after 2000 and the car has to be better than a minivan.’

Where’s Cilla Black when you need her?

An Inside Housing reporter was left somewhat baffled last week, following a conversation with a press officer for a roofing company involved in the redeveloping of Arsenal football club’s old London ground into flats.

‘How many shared ownership properties will be available?’ she wanted to know. The PR’s response: ‘It appears that none of the apartments are of multiple occupancy.’

Having explained what shared ownership was, our reporter then asked when the development had completed. After a little more confusion, it transpired the £170 million development was finished mid-2009. The excuse for this rather delayed announcement? ‘We have not managed to get this to press until now due to gaining approvals,’ said the PR. ‘This is the first time that this story has been covered from this perspective and I think you’ll agree that it is unusual.’

The reporter certainly agreed - it is odd to cover a story a year late. Flogging a dead horse won’t get you anywhere, or at least, not beyond the pages of Closed Circuit.

Never shy to adopt a ‘glass half-full’ approach to life, Luminus housing association renamed last Sunday’s Father’s Day as ‘Men’s Day’.

All 180 male staff at the Cambridgeshire landlord (currently celebrating ‘10 years saving the world’, according to a recent press release) were treated to a special gift, and card from Luminus boss Chan Abraham.

The ‘push-up pro’ is described as ‘a fitness device designed to aid press-up technique’. It’s globe-saving stuff people.