Closed circuit
Greek tragedy
The chief executive of the Chartered Institute of Housing in Scotland was unable to attend its presidential dinner last week after a nasty accident on an ancient ruin.
Alan Ferguson was reportedly holidaying in Greece when he took a tumble down the hill on which the Acropolis stands, rupturing his patellar tendon and rendering him bed-bound for the foreseeable future.
While Closed Circuit wishes Mr Ferguson well, it would like to remind readers that those who climb too enthusiastically up ancient monuments are always likely to come a-cropolis.
Closed Circuit enjoyed a night out at the theatre with United House recently.
The contractor has sponsored the Donmar Warehouse’s production of existentialist playwright Jean-Paul Satre’s Huis Clos (No Exit), most famous for the line ‘hell is other people’.
After an intense, almost claustrophobic, 105-minute performance, Closed Circuit caught up with Paul Nicholls, group director responsible for business development at United House, and pondered who would be the two people we would least like to spend a windowless infinity with. Discretion obviously prevents Closed Circuit from mentioning any names.
It’s amazing how a selfless act can leave you caught short.
Just ask junior housing minister Andrew Stunell who found himself locked in the opposition’s lobby during a commons vote on a Labour amendment to the Local Government Finance Bill.
In the Commons, MPs walk through one of two lobbies to dictate how they will vote. The luckless minister found himself trapped in the opposition lobby after nipping to the washroom to refill a water jug to refresh his thirsty colleagues.
Labour, rather cruelly spun the line that the embarrassed Mr Stunell had ‘plumbed new depths of incompetence’ - even though he had indeed voted with the government. Naturally, the minister protested he had acted out of kindness so his colleagues would be refreshed - but that didn’t wash with the opposition. Water carry on!
Send your juicy gossip to closed.circuit@insidehousing.co.uk
Food for thought
Manchester is already preparing itself to welcome the great and the good of the social housing sector for the Chartered Institute of Housing’s annual conference in June.
The new and improved location might take some getting used to for delegates more accustomed to the tranquil charms of Harrogate, but it surely can’t compare to the culture shock suffered by some Conservative Party members when their conference first pitched up in the city in 2009.
One source at the conference venue told Closed Circuit of a panicked query from group of twinset and pearl-clad Tory women: ‘Do you have restaurants in Manchester?’ one asked.
Apparently they do, just in case anyone was wondering…
Years in office have done little to dim the talents of the mayor of London.
Closed Circuit was recently invited to attend a press call at the Olympic park with Boris Johnson and the top brass from Newham Council and athlete’s village development consortium Triathlon Homes.
After mistaking a question on rioters’ tenancies for writers’ tendancies, the mayor then professed to know nothing about a story involving himself that was published that morning.
But who can blame him? It was only a double-page spread in the nation’s biggest selling tabloid newspaper with several photos of him with direct quotes.
Could housing minister Grant Shapps finally be running low on fresh policy initiatives? We only ask because the MP for Welwyn Hatfield seems to be appealing for a bit of help in the area - for free.
An advert posted last week seeks candidates for a ‘policy and correspondence’ internship. The successful applicant will be able to help ‘draft policy responses to constituents’ as well as having ‘the opportunity to gain an insight into Grant’s role’. ‘Reasonable’ travel and lunch expenses will be covered. How generous.
Closed Circuit is considering applying for the job - an insight into Mr Shapps’ mind is too good an opportunity to miss.
Naked truth
Closed Circuit has learned that one north east landlord’s chief executive has a surprisingly revealing past as part of a Spencer Tunick installation in Newcastle in 2005.
For those unfamiliar with the artist’s work, Mr Tunick enlists thousands of members of the public to pose naked for photographs in the world’s cities. The woman in question, who did not wish to be identified, let slip to Closed Circuit that she had joined the throngs without thongs in Newcastle in the early hours of a Sunday morning in July 2005.
Apparently the picture could be seen at Newcastle’s airport for months afterwards - although thankfully her modesty was protected because of the fog on the Tyne.
The housing sector will be sad to see the back of one of its more popular figures after Tom Murtha’s retirement as chief executive of Midland Heart was confirmed last week.
But Mr Murtha would appear to be readying himself to go out in style. According to a letter from Midland Heart to the massed ranks of the fourth estate, he ‘will emit office’ some time in the summer.
The details of how, where and why Tom plans to ‘emit’ his office are sketchy, but it is sure to make a spectacular show. It could be ideal if The London 2012 Organising Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games are looking for something different for the opening ceremony.
Any go-getting director at a housing association noted for innovation would surely be delighted at being compared with a famous political figure.
Wayne Gethings, director of asset management at Wrekin Housing Trust, not only has his team onside but other landlords beating down his door for a chat about how he does things and invitations to talk at events across the country.
Such leadership would surely evoke images of Churchill, Roosevelt or even Charles de Gaulle, no? Not quite. ‘What with his hair, jokes and the way he talks, he’s the sort of Boris Johnson of Dudley,’ one staff member told Closed Circuit.
Fashion victims
The reinvigorated right to buy has got a few people in the sector all nostalgic for the shoulder-padded glory days of the 1980s.
Not least among these is Sir Steve Bullock. When asked by MPs at a select committee evidence session whether he saw the policy as a throwback to the Thatcher era, the London Councils’ housing chief harnessed his inner Gene Hunt, the rough diamond police officer from TV show Life on Mars. ‘Fire up the Quattro,’ he replied (a favourite Hunt quote), quick as a flash.
Closed Circuit hopes he didn’t then down a couple of lunchtime sharpeners, before kicking down a door and nicking a few villains.
London & Quadrant has had an uncomfortable time recently with its plans to redevelop a former dog track in east London.
The landlord has faced a barrage of criticism from MPs and a well-organised group of campaigners calling themselves Save Our Stow.
You would have thought, then, that fellow housing association chief executives would be sympathetic towards L&Q boss David Montague over the controversy.
Apparently, though, some of Mr Montague’s chief executive colleagues in London have taken to making barking noises when they see him. It sounds like woof justice to us.
When arm’s-length management organisation Kirklees Neighbourhood Housing sent out a tenant survey, Closed Circuit assumed it was expecting the usual plethora of minor complaints and comments.
But according to local news reports, when answering the seemingly innocuous question, ‘if your home was not cleaned properly, what was the problem?’, one tenant wrote: ‘Floorboard rotten and dead cat underneath boards in bedroom’. As ‘failures to clean properly’ go, this certainly beats failing to dust the high shelf.
Closed Circuit hopes the tenant in question had not chosen to wait for a survey to address the question of the rotting feline.
A KNH spokeswoman chirpily said she was aware there was still work to do to improve tenant satisfaction. At least the rotting boards should make it easier to gain access to the cat.
Send your juicy housing gossip to closedcircuit@insidehousing.co.uk
On the rocks
Goodbyes at the end of drinks parties can be pretty awkward affairs. Politicians are forever prising themselves away from conversations - especially with journalists - so they can flee.
The only thing more awkward is ending up standing next to them on the platform, waiting for the same train afterwards.
Former Labour housing minister and MP for Greenwich and Woolwich Nick Raynsford found himself in such a pickle recently. Positioned to the right of Closed Circuit and next to Newham Council executive director for regeneration Clive Dutton who was staring firmly at the ground, there appeared to be a shared understanding that there would be no conversation. The arrival of Places for People’s sustainability guru Nicholas Doyle, however, meant Closed Circuit felt compelled to break the silence.
He may have the appearance of a regional director of CAMRA but Julian Ashby, the new chair of the Tenant Services Authority, is in fact a ruthless war veteran who has dispatched numerous terrorists.
Closed Circuit has it on good authority that when Mr Ashby is not dealing with housing issues, he is ensuring the western world remains free.
His battlezone is the internet and his weapon of choice is a computer console controller. The regulation expert has a penchant for first person shoot ‘em ups.
Quite how he copes with going toe-to-toe with housing minister Grant Shapps, communities secretary Eric Pickles et al remains to be seen, but surely he has good experience after battling grumpy teens online for hours.
News reached Closed Circuit this week of an MP giving his acting skills to the test by taking part in a social landlord’s pantomime.
Arm’s-length management organisation Gloucester City Homes wanted to engage young people and give them confidence to perform in front of an audience so it put on a production of Snow White and the Seven Anti-social Behaviour Dwarves.
Local MP Richard Graham was roped in to take on the role of Prince Charming but no mention was made of who played the other roles.
Could some of Mr Graham’s Conservative Party colleagues have filled the roles? Suggestions on a postcard.
Out of character
Closed Circuit was disturbed to learn last week that Mr Men characters appear to be rebelling against the stereotypes imposed by their names.
The eviction of Ms Good from a Six Town Housing property could surely begin a trend resulting in Mr Brave becoming cowardly, Mr Strong becoming weak, and Mr Happy being diagnosed with depression.
On the plus side, Mr Bump is looking forward to an injury-free future.
Never let it be said that the stocky secretary of state for communities and local government does not go the extra mile to support the British economy.
With public sector strikes just a fortnight old and the Localism Bill recently gaining royal assent, Eric Pickles has pulled out all the stops to launch a ‘curry college’ which will teach Brits the fine art of Asian cooking.
With this innovative scheme fresh in his mind, Mr Pickles took time out of his personal schedule to attend the British Curry Awards as ‘chief guest’.
Closed Circuit is reliably informed that Mr Pickles ‘loved’ his chicken tikka masala and ate every single piece - in keeping with the government’s pledge to cut down on waste.
The year is not yet out but some in the social housing sector have already started crystal-ball gazing for 2012.
Steve Douglas, partner at consultancy Altair, predicts a bond issue by a council, cashflow problems for a large housing association and cash for economic regeneration.
These are very sensible and sober predictions, but unfortunately things soon went downhill from there.
‘Peace breaks out between the National Housing Federation and [housing minister Grant] Shapps. Sorry, you asked for wishes, not miracles,’ he joked.
‘Transparency agenda as part of freedom of information reform, but the sector can see through that…’ he then added - to groans from Closed Circuit.
Send your juicy gossip to closed.circuit@insidehousing.co.uk
Guiding light
You could forgive prime minister David Cameron for hoping for a breather when parliament breaks up in 11 days time.
After all, if strikes, mounting public debt and the European economic crisis aren’t enough to send you head first into a family-sized tin of Quality Street in front of All Star Family Fortunes, then what is?
His pensions secretary has other ideas. So impressed is Iain Duncan Smith with Family Futures, the latest magnus opus from London School of Economics housing guru professor Anne Power, he thinks it could teach the PM a thing or two about tackling poverty.
‘It really is an excellent book,’ he told an audience at the LSE last week. ‘I’ll put it on the reading list for the prime minister over Christmas - and I’ll test him on it when he comes back.’
Family Futures, not Family Fortunes, it is then.
Could Whitehall austerity measures help reverse the fading fortunes of Marks & Spencer?
The high street giant recently reported an 8 per cent slump in profits, but Closed Circuit has learned that staff at the Communities and Local
Government department can’t get enough of their local store in London’s Victoria.
Cutbacks have seen all taxpayer-funded refreshments banned, except for marathon meetings lasting at least four hours and at which a visitor is present.
‘M&S is doing very well as a result,’ reports one worker. ‘The bite-size buckets are a particular favourite.’
As the festive season draws near, Closed Circuit thought it was timely to bring you a tale from Christmas past.
One afternoon, back in his salad days at Bradford Council, current communities secretary Eric Pickles apparently got wind of some of his staff knocking off early to sink a few sharpeners down the local.
Rightly concerned about this flagrant waste of taxpayers’ money, he promptly scheduled a meeting back at the office for 4pm.
A public servant to the end, the fact that it was Christmas Eve was, it seems, of little concern.
Getting together
Places for People has never been short of ideas about how to get the housing market moving again.
But its chief executive David Cowans clearly had other bees in his bonnet when he spoke at the Northern Housing Consortium’s annual conference in York last week.
During a rather bleak state of the nation address, Mr Cowans chastised the purported 25 per cent of men aged 25 to 29 still living at home. ‘Maybe if they got out more,’ he mused before highlighting that only 13 per cent of women of the same age had failed to cut the chord. ‘What I want to know is where have the other 12 per cent gone?’ he wondered aloud.
Could this be the start of a PfP dating agency to help stay at home tenants fly the nest? Closed Circuit certainly hopes so…
Still at the Northern Housing Consortium shindig, chair John Craggs was also thinking of family affairs.
Having regaled the audience with alarming tales of his daughter’s adventures as a film student, the deputy chief executive of Gentoo got onto his son’s life in the army. An apparent thrillseeker, Craggs junior texted dad to tell him he was about to launch himself off the Eiger attached to a bungee chord. Just as dad was about to reply, another beep came through… ‘And I’m doing it naked,’ it said.
Closed Circuit hopes that housing minister Grant Shapps, famed as he is for his love of bungee, is not inspired to follow in the footsteps of Craggs junior.
Finally this week the prize for dedication above and beyond the call of duty goes to Affinity Sutton’s head of research Hilary Burkitt.
Ms Burkitt tweeted on Saturday that she was re-reading the housing strategy (published last Monday) and was ‘shocked that it states being a social tenant on a higher income is an “abuse” equivalent to tenancy fraud’.
Perhaps realising that her choice of light reading on a Saturday morning may surprise some Ms Burkitt quickly added: ‘I should stress that re-reading [the] housing strategy is not what I would ideally want to be doing for weekend fun.’
Closed Circuit can empathise with Ms Burkitt’s pain.
Send your juicy housing gossip to closedcircuit@insidehousing.co.uk
Speaking in tongues
Richard Blakeway is well known among housing professionals in London as Boris Johnson’s political housing advisor.
It is his job to make the mayor’s housing policies clear to the media, landlords and other politicians.
But Mr Blakeway’s ability to do this was cast into doubt by none other than Alan Benson, head of housing at the Greater London Authority.
Mr Benson, speaking at the National Housing Federation’s affordable homeownership and intermediate housing conference in London on Thursday, said: ‘You heard from my political other half this morning, Richard Blakeway. I’m sure you were inspired and confused as I am every time I speak to Richard about anything. I had a quick chat with him and he was inspired and confused after the session as well,’ he joked.
Closed Circuit hopes the pair achieve some clarity before their next meeting.
We’ve all been frustrated by the level of customer service offered by our banks at one time or another. But all this could be about to change, thanks to staff at Bromford Group.
The housing association recently hosted a delegation from Barclays Bank, which wanted to find out how to improve its customer service.
Bromford Group staff arrived for the meeting bouncing on space hoppers, part of its policy to make engagement with colleagues ‘entertaining and memorable’. Closed Circuit likes to think they were also trying to stress to Barclays the importance of achieving a bounce in the economy.
Closed Circuit was bemused to receive an email last Friday from Kent Reliance Building Society thanking us for contacting them.
The email said ‘we aim to respond to all email communications within 24 hours of receipt, and will be in touch with you shortly’.
An admirable policy, except on this occasion the company slightly missed its target. Closed Circuit sent the query, on a subject long since forgotten, on 17 December last year.
Send your juicy housing gossip to closedcircuit@insidehousing.co.uk
Vegetative state
A warm welcome back to the confines of Closed Circuit to Sir Peter Housden - head honcho at the Communities and Local Government department until last year and now Scotland’s most senior civil servant.
Twitter has been abuzz this week thanks to the publication on the Scottish Government’s website of Sir Peter’s internal blogs to staff.
Closed Circuit recommends readers take a look, if only for such classic musings as ‘Is there anyone else who would like to see the return of the tuna (without mayonnaise) and green salad in a box?’ and ‘went to Of Gods and Men at the Filmhouse. I’m afraid I had a major attack of the sleeps at the start.’
Closed Circuit’s personal favourite? ‘The undoubted highlight of the social week was the Gardening and Crafts Club annual show…. It was all very exciting. The price of leeks went above £1.50.’
It’s clearly still all go for Sir Peter.
Readers have probably heard the age old philosophical question about whether a tree would make a sound if it falls in a forest but no one is around to hear it. This week Closed Circuit has come up with a new poser: does a tweet count as a sound when it is being read?
British Gas helpfully answered the question on Friday when it sent out an auto-scheduled missive during the two minutes’ silence for victims of the two world wars and subsequent conflicts.
It immediately sent out an apology stating that it was ‘very sorry for the tweet during the 2 mins silence’.
Closed Circuit didn’t hear the offending tweet but it hopes the racket didn’t upset too many people.
In typical opposition style, Hilary Benn chose to dwell on the negative this week.
The shadow communities secretary slammed the government for ‘failing to deal with the housing crisis being faced by hard-working people’ in a carefully worded attack.
Closed Circuit is happy to restore some balance to the picture by reporting that the government has made great strides in dealing with the housing crisis being faced by people who do not work hard at all. It is sure that Mr Benn will find it in his heart to acknowledge this achievement in due course.
Computer trouble
A Freudian slip revealed a speaker’s fears last week about the new IT system that will deliver the government’s universal credit.
Speaking at the Chartered Institute of Housing’s Other Housing Event, in Torquay last week, housing benefit consultant and trainer Maggie Fitzsimons introduced a section of her presentation entitled ‘A large-scale computer programme’.
But, to titters from the audience, Ms Fitzsimons mistakenly said: ‘A large-scale computer problem’. After a pause she added: ‘Yes that’s what we all think, isn’t it?’
Here begins a lesson in government timetabling - any readers who fancy a career in the civil service take note.
Law firm TLT was at pains to find out when the government plans to release its green deal consultation paper last week.
The firm held a conference on the deal and its speakers initially struggled to pinpoint a date. The first said the document was due ‘in a few weeks’. A second speaker ventured that it would be published ‘soon’.
Determined to find a more precise answer TLT phoned the Department of Energy and Climate change during a break in proceedings to ask for a clearer indication. Its response? ‘Shortly.’
Closed Circuit hopes this clears things up.
In sublimely silly science fiction flick Gattaca, the premise goes that everyone’s profession - as well as more or less the entire course of their life - is decided at birth.
Not that Closed Circuit would like to compare the liberal idyll that is modern-day Holland to Gattaca’s dystopian vision of society, but there would appear to be some level of determinism at work in the low countries. At the International Housing Summit in Rotterdam last week, not one but two speakers had names that translate as ‘new houses’. Step forward Joost Nieuwenhuijzen and Bert Wijbenga van Nieuwenhuizen. They never even had a choice.
Send your juicy housing gossip to closedcircuit@insidehousing.co.uk
Fright club
Some say this is a scary time to be a social housing provider, and to get into the spirit a group of young Hyde Group tenants donned zombie outfits to take part in a world record dance to the Michael Jackson hit Thriller on Saturday.
The children joined thousands of people in 32 countries around the globe who danced as part of a world-record breaking attempt.
Closed Circuit likes the concept of co-ordinated global dances and commends Hyde for getting the sector involved, but wonders whether there is scope for more. Maybe the Timewarp would best describe the machinations of housing policy under successive governments.
In other record-breaking news, Simon Hatchman, head of finance at 19,000-home Hanover Housing Group, is gearing up to play the longest game of squash ever.
With the current record standing at 29 hours and 55 minutes, optimistic Mr Hatchman will attempt to play for 31 hours this week, all in aid of Children in Need.
Closed Circuit didn’t like to ask how he would eat, rest or take the necessary ‘comfort’ breaks during the task.
Donations can be made at www.justgiving.com/Simon-Hatchman.
Peabody chief executive Steve Howlett was in a foul mood with Millwall fans this week.
Mr Howlett spoke out on Twitter after listening to a radio report about how football has changed.
‘They haven’t been to Millwall. Aggression, foul language - very disturbing’ he tweeted.
Could there be more to Mr Howlett’s outburst than meets the eye, however? Perhaps so. A quick scroll back through his tweets reveals his football team, Ipswich, played Millwall at the weekend.
‘Miserable afternoon at Millwall, losing 4-1 and still counting,’ he tweeted at the time.
Closed Circuit hopes Doncaster will provide less disturbing opposition in Ipswich’s next fixture.
Send your juicy gossip to closed.circuit@insidehousing.co.uk
Universal appeal
Understanding the complexities of the Department for Work and Pensions new IT system for universal credit is not an easy task.
Fortunately, the DWP helped Closed Circuit come to terms with it at a press briefing last week by putting on a mini play.
The role-play starred a civil servant as ‘Tom’, an employee disappointed by a reduction in his working hours. He finds out about universal credit and logs on to the new IT system to make a claim.
Closed Circuit was enthralled and hopes a similar role-play service will be available to benefit claimants if requested.
Anyone who thinks social housing is going to the dogs is about to be proven right - at least in north west London.
Arm’s-length management organisation City West Homes is embracing the idea, however, by running a ‘Pup Idol’ show to find a prize pooch on the Mozart estate, in Queen’s Park.
Closed Circuit hopes it is the start of a pun-based trend for social housing’s take on popular entertainment formats. The government’s version of The Secret Millionaire - in which wealthy people who have been living undercover in social housing donate some of their money to the Treasury - is apparently the most likely to see light of day.
So to Closed Circuit’s hero of the week. And the award goes to the partner of Soho Housing Association chief executive Joe Chambers.
Mr Chambers announced his partner’s derring-do to the twitterati at the weekend with the breathless: ‘OMG, my partner just apprehended a man doing a runner from the Little Chef.’
This went beyond the call of duty because as Mr Chambers added ‘she doesn’t even work there’.
Closed Circuit loved this press release headline from the British Property Foundation: ‘Developers welcome bishop’s view of intelligent design.’
Unfortunately its substance had nothing to do with the prevalence of creationism among house builders, but with the BPF’s response to a Design Council report (by a Mr Bishop).
Send your juicy housing gossip to closedcircuit@insidehousing.co.uk
Flushed out
The introduction of domestic septic tank regulation left Rossendale and Darwen MP Jake Berry feeling down in the dumps last week.
The regulations, it emerged at a National Landlords Association fringe meeting at the Conservative Party conference, have been postponed from 1 January 2012, pending an Environment Agency review. But Mr Berry looked flushed after admitting that despite being a septic tank owner and parliamentary private secretary to housing minister Grant Shapps, he knew nothing about the plans.
MPs entering the exhibition hall at last week’s Conservative Party conference found themselves being pounced on by an eager TV presenter with questions about the number of empty homes in their constituencies.
Housing minister Grant Shapps was among the victims put on the spot by architect George Clarke, who is fronting the campaign for Channel 4.
Mr Shapps later told Closed Circuit he thought his answer of 350 empties was in the right ball park. Mr Clarke’s figure of 16,865 suggests the programme might prove interesting viewing.
It seems that Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin has a rival for the title of top political action man.
While the world was looking for a politician to match Mr Putin’s judo-kicking exploits, the housing sector had the answer all along in the shape of the Hatfield hard man Grant Shapps.
The housing minister is set to stick one in the eye of the Russian bear with a 160ft charity bungee jump on 16 October. Your move Vladimir.
The Communities and Local Government department was keen to downplay the potential impact of the coalition’s new right to buy policy on the housing revenue account reform.
The noises coming out of the CLG were very much ‘this isn’t a story’. So it was with great interest that Closed Circuit heard about a hastily convened meeting at the CLG for council housing officials last Thursday. ‘It had all the hallmarks of panic,’ said one council employee of the summons. Closed Circuit imagines the speedy meeting must have been the result of civil servants’ keenness to spread the good news.
Send your juicy housing gossip to closedcircuit@insidehousing.co.uk
Rough justice
Lawyers and rock musicians normally only meet in court tussles overy royalty payments and drugs charges - but all that is about to change.
The Specs, an office band from law firm Trowers & Hamlins, will perform in a battle of the bands event later this month for homelessness charity Broadway.
Rumours that they plan to perform a cover of The Clash hit ‘I fought the law’ are unconfirmed.
It was good to see Anthony Mayer retaining a philosophical attitude to the imminent demise of the organisation he chairs at last week’s National Housing Federation conference.
‘I have been three years at the Tenant Services Authority, which has been an almost surreal experience in that we spent the first 18 months of our
existence setting ourselves up and the past 18 months closing ourselves down,’ he told delegates.
‘You win some you lose some.’
Closed Circuit enjoys a trip abroad as much as the next person so it was with some excitement that we received the agenda for a three-day trip to Paris from housing association London & Quadrant.
The email gives details of a trip to the Institut d’Urbanisme de Paris, visits to an urban renewal project and lunch with French housing and planning experts.
Sadly, before Closed Circuit had time to pack a bag, a second email arrived from L&Q saying ‘apologies, not one for you’.
Closed Circuit is trying not to take it personally.
There was a commotion at the Communities and Local Government department’s Eland House headquarters last week after a pane of glass fell out of a high window.
Civil servants returned to work after the weekend to find they could not walk through the atrium in the building as other windows needed to be checked to ensure they were safe.
Is this an omen that the department’s policies are also about to come crashing down?
Send your juicy housing gossip to closedcircuit@insidehousing.co.uk
Seen but not heard
Most people would agree that Boris Johnson’s housing advisor Richard Blakeway is a larger-than-life character and is certainly no shrinking violet.
But while speaking at a London Assembly committee meeting last week, Mr Blakeway was told repeatedly to ‘speak up’ by an increasingly irate member of the public who was struggling to hear what he was saying.
Three times the member of the public shouted his demand before Mr Blakeway complied.
A bemused Mr Blakeway joked: ‘I’ve never been accused of not speaking loudly enough before.’
Is housing minister Grant Shapps running out of new policy ideas?
That at least was one interpretation of a letter he sent to shadow housing minister Alison Seabeck during the summer recess asking for information on Labour’s plans for housing.
Ms Seabeck expressed some surprise that the minister - who has been studying the housing sector as minister and shadow minister for many years - should seek her advice after she’d spent just 10 months in the shadow role. Perhaps he was just trying to keep one step ahead of the opposition.
If you live in Tees Valley you don’t have to be MAD to clean up your community, but it helps.
Tristar Homes and Apollo Housing staff are working with residents to tidy up estates in Thornaby with the curiously named Make a Difference day, or MAD for short.
MAD volunteers will litter pick, hedge trim and weed paths. As philosopher George Santayana might have put it: ‘Sanity is MADness put to good uses’.
BBC TV series DIY SOS has taken a step up from its usual practice of enlisting local builders and brought in a housing association’s entire maintenance arm.
Housing Maintenance Solutions, part of Liverpool Mutual Homes, has volunteered to transform the Norris Green Youth Centre in north Liverpool as part of Children in Need. Could this finally be the big society in action?
Send your juicy housing gossip to closedcircuit@insidehousing.co.uk
Riot lessons
One housing association boss found himself scratching his head as he surveyed the damage caused by rioters in east London.
On a walkabout round scorched and smashed Hackney, he spotted ‘F*** Cameroon’ scrawled on a wall.
‘I don’t know if they were in need of English lessons or annoyed at the team’s performance at the last World Cup,’ the bemused chief executive said.
It’s hardly news the Daily Express is regularly accused of running offensive or misleading content.
Now one council tenant is so incensed by a recent headline - ‘Sick benefits: 75 per cent are faking’ - in the ‘mid-market’ tabloid that he has reported the matter to police.
Or at least tried to. Crawley Council tenant Michael Barratt, whose daughter receives incapacity benefit, claims the headline ‘contravened the Public Order Act 1986’ by likely prompting ‘harassment, alarm or distress’. Backed by a slew of statistics which suggest the Express headline was plain wrong, Mr Barratt approached London’s Metropolitan Police to report it as a crime.
He says the Met reckoned there was ‘merit in investigating’ his complaint and advised him to approach his home force. Sussex Police duly obliged and invited him to the station to make a statement - only to then cancel the appointment and refer him back to the Met. Various fob-offs later, Mr Barratt has written to the chief of Sussex police for answers. Closed Circuit wishes him all the best.
What’s good enough for Cheryl Cole is, apparently, good enough for Matthew Walker.
In October, the chief executive of Leeds Federated Housing Association will be making like the pop princess and climbing Mount Kilimanjaro to raise money for Mercy Ministries UK, which houses vulnerable young women in West Yorkshire. In return for this epic commitment, he’d like you to sponsor him. Easy peasey - just visit www.justgiving.com/matthewwalker climb4mercy to make your pledge.
And finally… Tweet of the week goes to comedian Jack Dee, who asks, ‘How do you get rioters to stay in if you evict them?’
Send your juicy housing gossip to closedcircuit@insidehousing.co.uk
Numbers game
Eyes down for the latest game to sweep the web - Grant Shapps bingo.
Members of social networking site Twitter have developed the new version of the popular game, replacing numbers with the housing minister’s most over-used phrases.
Favourites so far include ‘the TSA is toast’, ‘self-build for all’, ‘nation of home builders’ and Closed Circuit’s personal favourite, ‘I will be speaking on Radio Somewhere-in-the-Sticks in five minutes’.
As one tweet pointed out, if a landlord wins, they are guaranteed a full house.
A furniture recycling team in Swindon received an unexpected endorsement from Sir Cliff Richard last week after they tried to auction some fan memorabilia which had been donated to their project.
The team - from housing association Home Group - contacted a local radio station seeking help promoting the sale.
Just hours later the ageing crooner himself was on air to praise the project after the enterprising broadcasters called him up.
Crying, talking, sleeping, walking living doll anyone?
News that David Cameron’s back garden was to host a makeshift campsite last weekend had Closed Circuit all excited.
Could this be UK housing campaigners copying the thousands of young people sleeping in tents across Israel’s streets in protest at the lack of affordable homes?
The Financial Times, no less, reckons their efforts have prompted premier Benjamin Netanyahu’s ‘biggest domestic crisis since taking office’. And here was Britain’s very own housing protest, bringing their demands for cheaper housing straight to the prime minister’s backyard.
Alas, ‘twas not so. Unless, of course, Closed Circuit has missed something and 10 Downing Street’s fearless housing campaigners are masquerading as 15 small boys and girls from the Broomwood Beaver Colony in south London.
Send your juicy housing gossip to closedcircuit@insidehousing.co.uk
Down to earth
South Liverpool Homes’ junior board members call her a fairy godmother, while Closed Circuit fondly remembers her dressing up as a Christmas pudding.
But now Julie Fadden has added another string to her bow.
The chief executive of South Liverpool Homes has been chosen as one of Liverpool’s 20 radical heroes and will be immortalised in a set of banners to be plastered across the city. The competition, funded by Liverpool Council, saw community groups nominate a radical figure from their local area to make up the top 20.
Closed Circuit is fairly convinced that it was the pudding outfit wot swung it - even John Lennon at his most radical shied away from confectionary-related fancy dress.
And so to the news that the Duke of Cambridge has politely declined to back Inside Housing’s Get on our Land campaign, which aims to get more land brought forward for new housing.
Or rather a press flunkie said: ‘The duke does already have a number of charitable commitments and combining these with HRH’s workload as a search and rescue pilot can be demanding. For these reasons, and after careful consideration, we have decided to decline your request.’
Clearly the duke’s multitasking is not up to scratch. What better way to scout out prime development spots than while cruising at 5,000 feet?
erhaps he could start with a quick sortie over the family manor, starting with gran’s 106,000 hectares of agricultural land and the 53,628 hectares owned by his dad.
In turbulent times it’s good to know that the social housing regulator is determined to do everything it can to make a difference.
However, social landlords might be surprised at the type of interventions the Tenant Services Authority has in mind. In its annual report, published at the end of last month, the housing watchdog states that it aims to make sure that its ongoing restructure ‘does not divert resources from ensuring that business as usual suffers’.
Closed Circuit hopes that the line is a typo rather than a statement of intent.
Send your juicy housing gossip to closedcircuit@insidehousing.co.uk
Smart thinking
Tax changes are sometimes difficult for Closed Circuit to fathom.
Last week’s titanic struggle to understand a possible rule change which would stop housing associations avoiding VAT on some architects’ fees was a case in point.
Luckily, Joseph Carr, finance policy leader at the National Housing Federation, made the changes seem a piece of cake. Literally.
Apparently, he said, HM Revenue and Customs is effectively saying that architect’s design fees are like Smarties atop a cake. These can be removed (no need to tell sweet-toothed Closed Circuit this piece of good news).
But the NHF reckons this is the wrong simile. Actually, Mr Carr said, the fees are like a cake containing Smarties which were crushed and put in the cake mixture, meaning they cannot be removed. Everybody clear now?
The 8,000-mile Olympic torch relay is a momentous event.
Torchbearers need pride, strength and… zimmer frames? Despite being past their athletic prime, the older people who live in Cherry Orchard, a Paradigm sheltered housing scheme in Buckinghamshire, are more than up for the challenge.
Together with their housing officer Andrew Fox they are writing a spoof Olympic play which they will also star in. In it, former Olympic champion and games maker Lord Coe personally asks the residents to carry the flame. They then cover the 0.4 mile distance from their local Co-op store to the Green Man pub in Prestwood bearing a bamboo torch.
Getting a ticket for this production may prove easier than clinching seats at the actual Olympics.
We’ve had council tax holidays, vouchers and DIY discounts.
Now the government is introducing a new incentive to get people signed up to its ‘revolutionary’ green deal to make homes more planet-friendly … a new cover for the energy performance certificate.
The new design, unveiled by junior communities minister Andrew Stunell on a visit to Salford last week, emphasises how the initiative could make homes more energy efficient. Closed Circuit preferred the tax breaks.
Send your juicy gossip to closed.circuit@insidehousing.co.uk
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