Thursday, 24 April 2014

Tomato ASBOs

From: Closed circuit

What images does the phrase ‘anti-social behaviour’ conjure up? Skulking teenagers with cans of spray paint and dogs built like breeze blocks? Sleepless nights underneath partying neighbours?

It’s a fair bet that tomato plants appear some way down the list - but Neath council tenant Linda Ward has received a warning for hers.

She was growing the plants in a communal hallway, an arrangement which Neath Port Talbot Council decided was a safety risk that outweighed the health benefits of all that extra vitamin C.

Ms Ward is now, rather drastically it seems, two warnings away from an anti-social behaviour order, and presumably a month or so away from a fine salad.


The line between fantasy and reality has become increasingly blurred recently, and we’re not talking about the Jackson family.

London mayor Boris Johnson has filmed an appearance in EastEnders, to be shown in the autumn. He plays himself and will be arguing with the Queen Vic’s landlady Peggy Mitchell, played by fellow blonde bombshell Barbara Windsor.

Meanwhile, the Archers’ ethereal villagers have been heard patronising Anthony Gormley, the real-life sculptor and brains behind the Trafalgar Square plinth project.

Closed Circuit approves of this trend; we believe that housing minister John Healey would make a great house elf, possibly to appear in Harry Potter and the Redistributed Debt-Eaters.


Get anything wrong in print and complaints can rain down on you, as any journalist will know. And now house builder Redrow knows it too.

In its spring/summer 2009 brochure it tells prospective buyers that the journey from Dunfermline to Edinburgh takes just 15 minutes.

But according to the AA route planner, that would involve travelling by helicopter because the car journey takes at least half an hour. A simple mistake, but one about which a particularly irate reader felt strongly enough to report to the Advertising Standards Authority.

A spokesperson for Redrow said: ‘This was a genuine mistake and, as soon as we were alerted to it, we took steps to correct the information. All relevant literature was removed without delay.’

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