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Closed Circuit

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Closed Circuit

Closed Circuit loves nothing more than use of a good old-fashioned metaphor. Especially when it is flogged to death in front of a restless crowd of conference delegates waiting to be released for lunch.
So imagine Closed Circuit’s delight when a fund manager at the Resi conference in Newport last week decided to use the metaphor of a house party to argue about the legitimacy of claims that London house prices have not soared across the board.
‘Imagine London is a house party, and each borough is a room,’ he began.
Closed Circuit pictures an illegal rave in Hackney’s room, a masked ball in Westminster’s room and a couple of warm Red Stripes and a bowl of Twiglets in Barking and Dagenham’s room.
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In Magenta’s charming new offices in the Wirral last week, the great and good in northern social housing met to discuss the problem of hoarding, and share best practice.
The most unusual instance of hoarding our experts had seen? One gentleman lived on the Isle of Man, which has a more extensive hoarding problem than most places, in part because of the difficulty in shipping things over from the mainland.
And what did he hoard? Shire horses. Not your standard filly, or even a compact Shetland pony.
No, gigantic, hairy hoofed shire horses - one in the bathroom and a few elsewhere. It is unclear whether improvement works were needed to fortify the floor.
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Ageing rocker Paul Diggory from Wales is pursuing his ‘only vice’ yet again - he was at another music gig this week.
Said Welsh chief exec was off to see Kate Bush, having already made it to Prince and Arcade Fire gigs earlier this year.
Closed Circuit can just picture him travelling down in his BMW - the one that got him an extra (unwanted) ticket when he sped back from a Prince concert earlier in the year.
He got the car second hand after it was sold by the organisers of the 2012 London Olympics, Closed Circuit understands.
On his way down, the hound of love may be thinking again about who used to be in the back when it was used to chauffeur the stars of the athletic world - in his own words ‘Usain Bolt and the Swedish women’s volleyball team perhaps?’

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